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TSstudios

Age/Gender: 15, Male
Location: The sea
Job: student

Hi, im Danny, and i'll be directing the Big Apple Con 2 meetup. Nice to meet you. check out my journal entries and Deviantart.

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10/19/06

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Entry #21

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TSstudios

you want me dead?

Posted by TSstudios Jul. 8, 2008 @ 1:30 AM EDT

ok. so I got like 13 post in my box that say " Go Ahead, and stream it live " and etc. Then I got almost 7 post from people saying "Dont do it man, you got alot to live for" including TomFulp and Parlux.

Listen, Life to me isn't exactly worth living at the moment. Im not Emo, Im just not happy with how my life is going. I belive in God So I cant take my anger out on anyone so everything happening to me, its locked up and builds inside of me and hurts. It does. Im sure most of you have had times where you think " God I wish I were Dead " , well thats me every moment of the day, so it would just end. I know a friend who commited suicede from the "Choking Game". I have had alot of friends die, literely and relationship-wise. My "Friends" I had, every single one, turned on me eventually because another kid told them to so my life is just an empty thing, wasteing away.

Im not doing this like that other guy who said he commited suicide and a mod "I think Life" posted a thread about it and turned out he faked it.
Im not being dramatic and faking like he did.*shoot I cant think of the name* but I might go through with this. Im just not sure but alot of people dont care if I died or not. the people who would are only Parlux, Tom, probally April, the other people who PMed me. My parents say they would but if they did they would care about my health with smoking, maybe spending atleast a moment with me rather then going out with your 48 year old GF who smokes alot and is a bad influence. *My Dad and his GF/ My Mom and her job, friends, and online dating*

Really guys, My family literally ignores me. they just leave money on the counter to go get something to eat, take me somewhere every once in awhile, and pay the bills. but then they're off to do their own thing.

Newgrounds, after every person I've turned to, i've only got oyu and God left.
Life is confusing and cruel.

Edit: heres a pic I made.

00000.jpg

Updated: 07/09/08 1:50 AM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

13 Comments

Jul. 8, 2008 | 1:56 AM Techno says:

Cut it out.

If you think of it, your life could be a lot worse. Man up dude.

What if you had no money and lived on the streets. Do the bums commit suicide? Or try to tough it out?

Your life is golden compared to those little kids in Africa whos parents have died from Aids and then they have been raped/sodomized by a hammer.

Jul. 8, 2008 | 2:03 AM TSstudios responds:

i know im fortunate to be in america and im happy I didn't grow up like that but the way im living right now sucks. The Bums shold get special care or a job. I know some Bums may have dieseases so they dont function right but they can get better.


Jul. 8, 2008 | 3:38 AM mewo909 says:

Dude, you have so much to live for!

Life may seem bad now, but your still young. You don't know how your future is going to turn out. And maybe you should talk to your family about being ignored? An if this doesn't work, maybe you should talk to a counseler. Get that anger out. Don't listen to those idoits telling you to kill yourself.
How do you know that you won't end up famous one day? Any life is worth living!


Jul. 8, 2008 | 12:14 PM Guardian-Angel says:

Hey mate, listen, i'm not that much older than you (barely 15), and I can kind of understand what you're going through. Believe me, you don't want to end life THIS early. You haven't even lived a fifth of your life expectancy yet. I've also wanted to end my life, my parents don't really pay too much attention to me, etc, etc. But the fact is, THAT'S LIFE. It isn't all shits and giggles. There are times when you feel bad, and maybe those times seem more frequent than the good ones. I think what you need is a lot more sociality in your life.

I may seem like a stupid counselor or whatever, but I think you should join a school sports team or go to camp somewhere. Be somewhere where you're surrounded by a lot of kids your own age. You can start fresh there, and work your way up, and maybe even get some real friends. 'Cause when you grow up, you realize what you need are not more friends or acquaintances, but TRUE friends. Don't give up on life yet.


Jul. 8, 2008 | 4:54 PM JebbaL says:

First off, think about what kind of person would actually encourage another to commit suicide. Are you going to let someone like that influence you in any way? I sure wouldn't. You are above them. Reread each one of those 13 PMs and fucking laugh at them. Laugh at their stupidity and ignorance. And laugh at the fact that they are probably jealous that you got to meet Tom and April Fulp :)

Every life is worth living, whether it seems like it or not. Don't let other people decide that for you. You need to find something in your life that MAKES it worth living. You seem to like it here on Newgrounds, so why not get into Flash animation or music production? Practice and get good at it. You could find your future career, which is a lot of stress off your back a few years down the road when you're deciding what to major in for college. I still have no idea what I want to do. :/ I've been making music in FL Studio for a while now, but I can't see myself getting anywhere in life with it. Newgrounds is probably as far as it will go. lol

Oh, and those other guys who wrote comments before me. Good stuff. If you think you could develop a close relationship with a counselor then that's definitely a great idea. Its good to have someone to talk to if your mom and dad aren't going to be that someone. Clubs, sports, camps - All good ideas.

The way I've seen people treat you on the forums is ridiculous. It honestly makes me sick to my stomach that so many people here are such assholes. And the fact that people are still doing it now that you have publicly announced that you are contemplating suicide is just amazing. I don't know if they're really that senseless or if they're just not taking you seriously, but either way...

The forums here to me have always seemed to be about 75% stupid kids trying to be cool by making fun of other people. Well, the General Forum mostly. Someone starts a new topic and it is immediately replied to with "ur a faggot", "thats gay", "your gay", "nobody gives a shit you fag". You know? Thats just how a lot of people on Newgrounds are.

You're still young bro. Things can change, and believe it or not, there are people out there who care about you. Even your parents, whether it seems like it or not. Don't give up.


Jul. 9, 2008 | 12:25 AM ijustowndU says:

About friends, fuck it. Odds are you'll meet the people that you'll know the rest of your life in college. If not for that, at least see how far you can get career wise, go to college, work your way up, ect.


Jul. 9, 2008 | 1:17 AM kRaZyAzN says:

life isn't worth living? It must be difficult for you, but you can't just take the easy way out. Man up, life IS worth living for. If you let a bunch of immature faggots on the internet tell you to kill yourself, then you're a fool. I'm sure they don't mean it, they probably don't realize how serious the situation is, or they thing they're cool by making cruel comments.

and your so called "friends". They're not your real friends if someone else told them to ditch you. Some of your friends have died?! that's quite shocking, where the hell do you live? Meet new people! Even if they're geeks or nerds it's better than being alone.

And you're family: I don't know what to tell you about this. Are your parents divorced? the last sentence in the paragraph about your dad and his GF is a bit confusing...

I'm so sorry, I really don't know what else to tell you. I've never been through any of that stuff(although my parents are getting divorced pretty soon). i'm not even older than you, I'm 13.

Just don't do it man, you've got so much ahead of you.

best of luck to you.


Jul. 9, 2008 | 4:29 PM Parlux says:

Sure you got some problems, but man i have been on that road, im not saying i had it worse but when you have booze and pills its not a good mix. try to get a hobby. Me i like to tell jokes and have a good time.

You say your best friends turn your back on you, my best friend carlos sold me out to some kids i had a problem in school and it did not end well (lets just say i had a black eye and carlos did not go empty handed with a broken jaw)

If you have issues at home with your parents i think you need to seek help (911) if your getting abused.

I really don't want too long on the BBS just to find a news post that you offd your self.


Jul. 10, 2008 | 11:40 PM k0mat0se says:

Best ya get ta

SWANGIN AND BANGIN
makin money fuh yuhseeelf
HANGIN AND SLANGIN
the sweet leaves and them pills on tha shelf

lil wigga dont SPEND it
as soon as ya GET IT
and keep in mind i'm a captain, you a lieutenant


Jul. 19, 2008 | 11:44 PM GiantDouche says:

Shut the fuck up. It doesn't matter how many friends you have or don't have. Your dad clearly provides for you well because you're always on vacations. You have a good life and I just HATE IT when kids who are better off than me and my friends decide to end their life because of some stupid bullshit. Don't do it for your family and your friends and everyone who loves you. Dumbshit.


Jul. 19, 2008 | 11:47 PM GiantDouche says:

Oh yeah by the way, god NOT REALZ LOL PWNED. My family doesn't smother me with hugs and kisses either but I don't give a shit. get over yourself.


Aug. 11, 2008 | 8:52 PM hammerhead84 says:

You need to add 45 pounds to that cartoon character if it's you.


Aug. 18, 2008 | 7:01 AM Acid says:

If you really want to die just end yourself and quit bitching, more food for me. But if you're just on a binge looking for attention from strangers then keep bitching about how shitty you think your (probably better than 95% of the human population) life is and keep getting your fucking attention. I just want to let you know that I'm not going to bite your bullshit and I pity the moronic fuckers who are.


Aug. 18, 2008 | 7:47 AM AdairTishler says:

I'm not going to judge how miserable your life is or is not.

But you're only 14 FFS. Try to do something about it, while you still can. Get counseling.

You owe it to yourself to exhaust all means trying to fix up your life; otherwise, your suicide is premature.

Also, you mentioned you believe in God. OK, so suicide might not be a sin. The Bible never says it is. But don't you feel God would be unhappy if there was some way to fix your life and you never even tried? He'd probably be pissed; he obviously wants us to live fulfilling and meaningful lives if at all possible.

Don't do it unless you absolutely have to do it.

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